"The State of the Ninja"

There's a fun article on Slate titled The State of the Ninja about ninjas in pop culture.

I, for one, never get tired of ironic ninja jokes--although to me the humor is not the ninjas themselves, but how funny the Western obsession with ninjas is.

It is the guy I knew in Junior High who had all the Chinatown-bought ninja weapons and loved to talk big about them; that archetype is why ninjas are funny. And really, the adolescent ninja fantasy echoes some of the role-playing that is inherent in any (especially any traditional) martial art. The tension that I feel between identifying with the twelve year old who wants to be special and rejecting that in favor of the more austere aspects of martial arts is what makes campy ninja jokes funny, at least to me.

Although whenever I'm in a sushi restaurant, I do always worry that ninjas are going to crash through the walls and kill me. I just can't shake that feeling for some reason.

Count Dante – Dim Mak Ad

A lot of people give practitioners like Rick Clark, George Dilman, Rick Moneymaker, Erle Montaigue, Taika Oyata, and Dr. Pier Tsui-Po a lot of credit for bringing the art of Vital Point Striking to the public’s attention.

Which is true.

These men and others like them have been major proponents of the art of Vital Point Striking over the last decade, and have done a lot of research in order to revive techniques within old forms that to a large extent have been forgotten.

However, long before any of these men were traveling around the world teaching seminars, writing books, or making videos on Vital Point Striking, there was John Timothy Keehan (02/02/39 – 05/25/75), or as he is better known, “Count Juan Raphael Dante, The Deadliest Man Alive.”

Yes, long before many of the above martial art teachers had even earned their first black belt, Count Dante offered a book on the topic of Dim Mak “The Death Touch.”

(Circa late 60’s early 70’s)

I personally have never seen this book. However, based on what I’ve read elsewhere, it sounds as if Count Dante was quite an outlandish character. Yet in many ways a true pioneer in the American martial arts world.

According to most accounts, he was one of the first martial arts instructors to teach non-white students, helping to break racial barriers. He is also credited for helping organize and promote one of the first major full contact martial art tournaments in the US, (072863).

What’s even more interesting was Count Dante was also one of the first to openly reject traditionalism and formality, opting to focus on what he considered to be more “reality based” fighting methods. He even went so far as to state that training in Karate was for sissies. Arrogant no doubt, but this was still pretty progressive for his time--a time when few Americans even knew what Karate, let alone any other martial art styles, were.

For the most part, I’m really not interested in the history of Count Dante, be it fact or fiction. The comments I’m about to make are solely based on the absurdity of the above comic book ads offering instruction in the “the world’s deadliest fighting secrets.”

While these ads clearly speak for themselves one of my favorite paragraphs is:

“Yes, this is the DEADLIEST and most TERRIFYING fighting art known to man --- and WITHOUT EQUAL. It’s MAIMING, MUTILATING, DISFIFURING, PARALYZING and CRIPPLING techniques are known by only a few people in the world. An expert at DIM MAK could easily kill many Judo, Karate, Aikido, and Gung Fu experts at one time with only finger tip pressure using his murderous POISON HAND WEAPONS. Instructing you step by step thru each move in this manual is none other than COUNT DANTE – THE DEADLIEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED.”

Wow! And I can learn all that for just $5.50.
Now I realize these advertisements mostly appeared in comic books, and catered to a comic book reading audience. Keeping this in mind, I’m hoping that the comic, clearly over the top, nature of these ads were intentional. Though unfortunately I’m most likely wrong.

Based on what I’ve read I have a sneaky suspicion that Count Dante had the type of ego where he believed his own hype, and depending on which source you think is telling the truth, definitely had the fighting skills to back it up his claims. After all he was named “The Deadliest Man Alive” after winning “secret death matches.”

The unfortunate thing about these ads is the fact that they circulated during a time when the average American had little or no martial arts savvy, which makes me wonder how many people who read this stuff actually believed it. Or worst yet how many people bought it.

According to Count Dante’s Black Dragon Fighting Society, over one million copies were sold. In my opinion that’s a staggering assertion, since I doubt very many martial art books printed today even sell close to that total. Further more, I did a quick search of the Internet and couldn’t find a used copy for sale anywhere, (not even Ebay.com), which leads me to believe that one million is quite an exaggeration.

Of course if one million copies had actually been sold, I’m assuming that they weren’t all that instructional. After all, I don’t remember reading about a wave of mysterious Dim Mak related deaths in the 60’s and 70’s.

Like I said the absurdity of these ads speak for themselves but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention and comment on some of the more blatant claims.

Claim #1 – Dante’s Claims to Chinese Tongs

While I can’t find anything that associates Dante to actual Chinese Tongs (the Tongs that know the secret of Dim Mak and were members of his Black Dragon Fighting Society), many biographies of Count Dante say he did teach known Chicago gang members as well as various types of other criminals.
I also get the impression that Count Dante had a quite lengthy criminal record himself; depending which version of the story you believe, he was arrested for arson or bombing a rival martial arts school.

Claim #2 – Dante’s Claims of winning “Death Matches”

Clearly, many of the tournaments Count Dante organized were ho holds barred events akin to today’s UFC or Pride fights. Many of these fights were extremely violent bloody affairs. However, there is a big difference between a no holds barred fight, and a death match.
As expected, these so-called death matches were held in secret, and there are no records of them. If they did occur I would expect there would have been witnesses, who by this time would have said something to verify they took place.
I think it will be very interesting to see how much attention these “death matches” get, when the video documentary on Count Dante’s life is completed by film maker Floyd Webb (http://johnkeehan.blogspot.com/).

Claim #3 – Breaking the oath of secrecy.

Isn’t Count Dante contradicting himself here? I mean if one had to swear a secret oath, punishable by torturous death, not to share these ultimate secret-fighting techniques, wouldn’t the “Masters” that taught Count Dante seek vengeance? Maybe his death, caused by bleeding ulcers, was some sort of “delayed death touch.”
Do I hear the making of a conspiracy theory?

Claim #4 – The $10,000.00 guarantee.

You’ve got to love the disclaimer here; Basically it says that while this book can’t guarantee anyone will ever become a master or even expert fighter from reading it, it’s still the “deadliest” text ever printed to date. So dangerous, and “ferocious” that many other publishers wouldn’t print it in the past.
Please be serious.
First of all, it is next to impossible to learn to do martial arts from a book. That’s a no-brainer, and maybe one of the only true statements in the entire ad.
Secondly, having seen a lot of the martial art books released in the 60’s and 70’s any text covering techniques more closely related to street fighting would surely appear more brutal. In other words, it wouldn’t take much to appear more brutal and ferocious, “street lethal,” when most books of this period simply depicted kata (forms) and basic applications within these katas.
I just wonder how that $10,000.00 guarantee would hold up by today’s standards, with all the “reality based” martial art literature that is available.

Okay, once again I’ve had some fun with an old martial art advertisement. The truth of the matter is this stuff is just plain silly, and in most circumstance ads like these are best forgotten.

However, the truth is that practitioners such as Count Dante and ads such as these played a major part in how America looks at the martial arts in general, and why so many people have preconceived (usually wrong) ideas of what martial arts are all about.

For many Americans of the 60’s and 70’s ads like this one were there first introduction to the Asian fighting arts. Instead of educating the public, and extolling the benefits of martial arts training, ads like this embodied the entire negative stereotypes we as martial artists still face toddy.

Yes, martial arts were developed for fighting and killing, but the average martial artist isn’t looking to be a ferocious “chop-o-matic” killing machine. Certainly, most martial art practitioners aren’t training in order to "easily kill many Judo, Karate, Aikido, and Gung Fu experts at one time."

Unfortunately, Count Dante—as talented a martial artist as he might have been—didn’t exemplify a true master of the martial arts. By the sounds of it, he was an arrogant, boastful self-promoter and brawler. While there is nothing wrong with the desire to be a good fighter and focus one’s training on “reality based” fighting methods, Count Dante simply forgot that a true master of the martial arts only fights when forced to do so.

For more biographical information on Count Dante, read “The Life and Death of The Deadliest Man Alive” by Dan Kelly July 14, 2006.

For a more biased biography of Count Dante, go to: The Black Dragon Fighting Society Web Page http://www.countdante.com/page2.html

Just Too Funny

Maybe it was just the “evil Gary” looking for something to comment about, but I found the below Youtube video clip absolutely hilarious. I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in a very long time.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not really laughing at the guy and his attempts to break boards—no, actually I am. But I’m laughing even more about the fact that each time he fails to break the boards it’s pretty clear he is blaming the guy that’s holding them instead of taking responsibility for his ineptitude.

This karate “expert’s” lack of skill, or at least his definite lack of concentration and focus, is clearly evident. It is especially obvious the first two times he tries and breaks the boards with a forward punch. OUCH!! Talk about missing your target.

Now, I for one have never fully understood the need for martial art practitioners to practice breaking boards, bricks, ice, baseball bats, or other items to test or demonstrate their skills (or lack of them as in this video.)

In my 45 years of life, I’ve never once been attacked by any of the objects used in most breaking demos. More importantly common sense as well as training has also taught me that striking the human body is nothing akin to striking any inanimate objects.

However, it’s people like this “karate expert” who make me so glad I invested in “Advil” years ago.

Tell Me It Ain't So...

(This entry is dedicated to Oswaldo, a student of mine who recently reminded me “you are what you eat,” and the harmful nature of the Twinkie.)

I have a guilty little secret. Even though, I try my best to stay in shape, and watch what I eat, I love Twinkies. You known those little golden sponge cakes filled with cream that Hostess has been selling to the American public since the 1930’s.

Now I’m no Twinkie-holic, but a pack of Twinkies, (or two), is my little reward when I really push myself at the gym. It’s something I can bribe myself with in order to push myself to the next level. My Twinkie is sort of the carrot dangling in front of the horse.

Naturally, I’ve never been under the delusion that Twinkies were good for me. In fact, I’ve never been quite sure what they are even made of. Until a few days ago assumed, maybe with a subconscious desire to do so, that they at least contained some natural ingredients. I thought that they had at least a bit of nutritional value.

Boy was I ever wrong.

Twinkies contain no eggs, no butter, no milk, and no cream. In fact they contain nothing that can spoil during their twenty-five day shelf life. So much for that old urban myth, which states Twinkies last forever.

So what are Twinkies made of, you ask? For that answer I suggest you read “Mmmm, Tasty Chemicals,” by Anne Underwood in the March 5th 2007 issue of Newsweek Magazine. (See below) It’s a real eye opener, if not a real stomach turner.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17303919/site/newsweek/

Oddly enough a few weeks ago, before this article came out, my students and I had a debate on the health issues of eating snack foods, especially snack foods such as Twinkies. While I vehemently defended my Twinkie addiction (though the truth is I actually eat Zingers, a Twinkie covered in raspberry jelly and coconut shavings), I had to concede that eating other healthier things was definitely in my best interest. After all, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Too bad apples just don’t taste more like Zingers.

The only defense I could assert when it comes to eating a pack of Zingers or two, maybe in a stressful week three, is that I really don’t ingest anything else that is that bad for me. I do watch what I eat (diet-wise), I don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke, and only reluctantly take the prescription drugs my doctor says I need to take to manage my cholesterol and chronic pain.

In other words I do try to take care of myself. My justification is simply this, every now and then I have to indulge, and if that means a Zinger or two what’s the real harm. My Twinkie (Zinger) is my guilty little pleasure, and while I now know I shouldn’t, now that I know what they are actually made of, I doubt I’ll change my wicked ways.

My students, especially Oswaldo may be right, but hopefully, in the end, I’m not what I really eat.

The Other Side of Hojo Jutsu

Hojo Jutsu is the traditional Japanese martial art of restraining prisoners with rope. Since the "Yachigusa" family were involved in law enforcement, likely as doshin, hojo is part of the Yachigusa-Ryu curriculum. However, it is a secondary art and we only practice it once or twice a year. I enjoy hojo in a Boy-Scout-merit-badge-in-knot-tying kind of a way.

Some years ago a group of us went to a seminar by Don Angier of Yanagi-Ryu where he spent a whole day teaching hojo techniques and history—as well as another day of jutte and tessen. It was an excellent seminar and I would like an opportunity to learn more of this art.

So I thought it'd be worthwhile to throw up this link to this upcoming seminar, even though I don't expect to be attending. After all, what better place to learn hojo jutsu than from a Rope Dojo? Although they seem to call the art shibari. And they give a discount for couples. And there's a section on "Visions and Perversions."

It's actually really amusing just how much the arts of hojo jutsu are being kept alive by the bondage community. The traditional art was very intricate, with increasingly elaborate knots for highly ranked prisoners. They took pains to make ties elegant and symmetric with intertwining loops—since "knots" would be dishonorable (if there are no knots, the prisoner is not techinically tied up, so he saves face, right?). Yet the restraints are very efficient and tight (in case the prisoner is a ninja or something). All these qualities are very appealing to certain subsets of society.

In that vein, perhaps our neighborhood hojo opportunities could be expanding now that the SF Armoury down the street from our dojo is going to be opening under new management(nsfw) as a bondage and fetish film studio.

Or perhaps not.

Ah, San Francisco.

Cartoon

After spending the last two weeks writing nothing but information on scientific principles, and coming to the realization that the hard ones are yet to come, I thought I would just take a break.

Part of that break included catching up on some e-mails I’d been ignoring. One of them included this cartoon I found pretty amusing.

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Martial Art Ads - 1972

Click for full size

This is another one of those great old ads offering martial art instruction. Interestingly unlike many similar ads this ad goes beyond the basic offer to teach jujutsu, karate or kung fu skills. In fact it specifically states it teaches the skills of “French Foot Fighting,” Aztec fighting skills, “secret” police methods, and the fighting techniques of the “Carib.”

WOW!

Okay I’ve heard of Savate, or Boxe Française, and from everything I’ve read and seen Savate is a viable form of self-defense. At least it is in its older version.

I’ll even be gracious and pass on any comments about the Aztec warrior fighting methods, since historically the Aztec warriors were reputed to be formidable fighters. While I’m unclear how much of their fighting methodologies survive to this day, there is a man in the San Francisco Bay Area who claims to teach authentic Aztec knife-fighting skills. So I guess there is remote chance the advertiser knows Aztec fighting--very remote!

Of course, back in 1972, seeing some “authentic” Aztec fighting skills would be intriguing enough for me to buy this program. I’m serious too. Heaven knows that over the years I’ve already spent about $200.00 to learn some “authentic” Aztec knife fighting.

As for the “secret” police method that’s crap, and I have to make some comments since I’ve heard this claim so many times before.

Pay close attention…. There are no “secret police techniques!” I know. I was a police officer; I went to the police academy. The hand-to-hand fighting they teach you at the police academy is very basic if not just plain silly. Actually in my day (the 80’s) it was a joke, and some of the techniques were more dangerous to the practitioner than the bad guy, especially the gun takeaways.

Fortunately, I’ve heard things have changed a lot since my days at the academy, but what is taught today is still basic self-defense, and not much more than the average civilian can acquire at any commercial self-defense course.

The fact of the matter is that police officers and those enlisted men in the military spend more time learning to shoot firearms than learning unarmed skills. When I went to the academy we spent two weeks, (about 10hours), learning hand-to hand combat, which included how to cuff someone, the use of the nightstick, and some joint locks humorously referred to as “come-alongs”. Eight weeks were spent learning to shoot firearms, handgun and shotgun.

The funny thing is that in my fifteen-year career as a police officer I drew my gun maybe five times, and never shot it once. I used hand-to-hand skills all the time.

Just like the military, police officers spend very little time learning hand-to-hand fighting skills. I’m not sure why, but that is the reality of the situation.

That is one reason so many noted martial arts instructors have teaching military and police department personal on their resumes. Most police academies and military branches just don’t have adequate martial arts programs developed. Like most cultures past and present, the police and military emphasize weaponry, not hand-to-hand.

Of course if offering “secret police skills” wasn’t enough bad enough I really have to wonder who or what are the “Carib,” and what possible fighting skills they possessed that could be included in this system.

The Craib were reputed cannibals who inhabited the region of the Lesser Antilles Island, whom the Caribbean Sea was named. The Carib call themselves the Kalinago and surviving populations can now be found in St. Vincent and Dominica.

While it is true that the Carib resisted European incursion for 200 years, and the Europeans that encountered them considered them aggressive deadly savages, I have been unable to find any information about any fighting methodologies they possessed.

I’m sure the Carib had fighting skills, and were fierce fighters, but I truly question why they are mentioned in this ad. Not because what I doubt their fighting prowess or think it may not have any value, but because I would bet most people don’t even have any idea who the Carib are.

Putting aside the martial styles offered, what I like most about this ad is the claim that this program will teach you to fear no man in just 24 hours, and that Joe Weider endorses this product with the claim that using the system will turn anyone into a “destructive self-defense terror fighter in just 30 days.”

First of all, I didn’t even know Joe Weider knew anything about martial arts. I thought he was a body builder, and that his true claim to fame was training champion body builders.

I tried to find anything that even remotely stated he had some martial art rank, but based on my research it sounds like he just took an opportunity to cash in on the growing martial arts craze of the 70’s.

Secondly, while researching this ad it appears that some individual in 1972 felt the claims in this ad were fraudulent enough to file a lawsuit against it, (mainly claiming mail fraud), a lawsuit they appear to have won. www.usps.com/judicial/1972deci/1-131.htm

Score one for the good guys, although this ad did resurface in 1974. Basically it is the same ad, but there are a few revisions, which reflect the outcome of the lawsuit.

Click for full size

Lastly, and this was also part of the lawsuit, is the fact this program did not cost the twenty-five cents as advertised. The actual price for the “complete” program was $40.00. That was actually quite expensive in the 70’s.

Overall, this ad while amusing is just another example of BUYER BEWARE!

Cardboard Tube Samurai

Penny Arcade is an online comic strip that normally sticks with jokes about video games, random vulgarity, or characters stabbing each other in the eye.

Every once in a while, however, they put "Gabe" in a period setting, give him a cardboard tube as a sword and have him kill evil henchmen. Today the "Cardboard Samurai" here.

Some past comics:

March 2003, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

July 2003

January 2004

July 2004, Part 2

Martial Arts Ads - 1985

I always thought the whole point of being a ninja was the fact nobody knew you were a ninja. I mean, telling people you’re a ninja kind of takes away that element of surprise.

I do think it would be cool to learn the power of Invisibility though.

Cartoon

Cartoon on the Science of Techniques

Martial Arts Ad – Yubiwaza (1968)

I just love some of the old classic style ads, and this one is just so amusing. “Yubiwaza,” what’s that?

The word “yubi” translates to the word “finger” and “waza” means “technique.” While the art I teach has numerous “yubiwaza” some of which will drop a large man, I would never even dream of making any claim similar to the ones listed above.
The funny thing about this ad is that this system is actually based on a jujutsu art called Sosiushi Ryu.

According to the 16th inheritor of Sosiushi Ryu, Master Manzo Shitama, a samurai named Masanori Fugatami Hannosuke, a master of Takenouchi-ryu, founded Sosiushi Ryu in 1650. Masanori Hannosuke then taught his martial art system to another samurai named Shitama Matahichi, whose family have been the inheritors of Sosuishi Ryu ever since.



The lady pictured in the ad is Yoshie Imananmi who was the wife of Mr. Nelson Fleming, a Sosuishi Ryu instructor in New Jersey.

It seems Mr. Fleming was talked into writing a book on jujutsu finger techniques, and what was suppose to be a 100 page book turned out to be the fourteen page pamphlet offered in the ad above.

Reportedly, Mr. Fleming stated he had no input on the advertisement of this product. However, I couldn’t find any information (even on the official Sosuishi Ryu website) stating that he ever denounced the preposterous claims of this advertisement, or was upset with the publisher for producing this publication instead of his intended work.

I’ve never seen this pamphlet, but I think it would be interesting. All I can say for now is that I hope my wife never gets a copy of it.

Click for Full Size

Iai Cartoon

Cartoon

Ki Cartoon

The Devil’s Judo Tournament

One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here".

"Yes", snickered the Devil, "but I have all the referees."

from http://www.judoinfo.com/

Cartoon: Timing

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Great Deal

I came across this ad while surfing the Internet. What a great deal!

I wonder just how many people bought this program. I know I would love
to see a copy of it, just for the "Secret Nerve Center and Anatomy"
charts.

I also really wonder what kind of "practice dummy" you'd get for fifty cents.
One thing for sure, my dad was right, money did go a lot further in
the old days.

Cartoons

www.junkertoons.com/toonMartial.htm